On the menu tonight...

So after the other day, the girls have been wanting to help make dinner big time. Last night, I was making spaghetti sauce and I decided to omit the noodles and just make little garlic breads to scoop the sauce (it of course had tons of veggies in it, so it was thick enough to do that.). Is that something you can get at Olive Garden? I'm sure I didn't think that one up on my own. So anyway, I let Maya help make the garlic bread. She had a blast. She put tons of butter on them, so they were extra yummy. But then she put tons of garlic on some, so those ones were a little shocking. I ended up toasting them too long and they were kindof like giant croutons and the girls had a hard time eating them, so I just cut them some bread and buttered it. It was really good.

Yesterday (and today, actually), Maya woke up around 5 or 5:30am and didn't take a nap, so by dinner time, she was obviously tired. And here are the results of that:Yep-totally sleeping while eating. Isn't that the cutest/saddest thing ever? She's hilarious when she does this. She'll start shovelling food into her mouth by the fistful when she's falling asleep. I wish I had our camera that takes movies. (I swear, Scott better be taking millions of pictures with that effing thing or he's not taking it with him next time!)

Tonight, I was feeling lazy, so I decided to make salad. I let the girls choose what they wanted in their salad. I had some ground turkey that had taco seasoning on it, so I threw that in mine with some cheese and um...raspberry vinegarette. I admit mine scared me a little with the taco seasoning and my dressing choice, but I went for it and it was delicious! Here is what the girls chose:Spinach, taco seasoned turkey, cheese, frozen blueberries, ranch and sprinkles. Hey, why not?

(Pardon Lydia's pose, she was trying to be cool. Oh and yes, we all sat at the Dora table for dinner. That's normal, right?)

More fun with food!

So, we're only a little over a month into deployment and Scott's already been told that they might have to go out again for 5 months next year. Are you kidding me?! I'm annoyed. Poop poopity poop.

I had all these things running around in my head to blog about, but I'm totally having blogger's block.

Oh, one funny thing...tonight, the girls had a crazy dinner- one pancake smothered in chocolate syrup (Lydia asked if she could put it on top and I made the mistake of letting her do it without supervision. Seriously, it was like 1/4 inch deep on it and the plate), frozen peas (that ended up swimming in the chocolate syrup) and chicken nuggets (that ended up being dipped in ketchup and chocolate syrup...and I had to try one in the chocolate syrup and it was actually delicious.) and everything was topped with sprinkles. Then for dessert a little while later, a yogurt cup and an apple.

Ok, some of the things are coming back to me...

I let the girls make their own pizzas a few nights ago. Lydia said she did not want sauce ("It's too spicy!"), so she put ketchup on it and then she wanted to put raisins on it, so they both did. Here are the pictures...

Maya kept smooshing hers into a ball and I had to keep flattening it out, toppings and all. And suprisingly, Maya's turned out to be the better tasting one. FYI- ketchup is not a good sauce. But Lydia liked it. I made my own, but for some reason, I didn't take a picture...I should've...it was a thing of beauty. (If I do say so myself.) And woah, holy crap, in that picture the girls look the same size/age..is it just me? It's creeping me out. (And it's also creeping me out that Maya looks like she completely has no legs...)

Living La Vida Saddam.

So in the past few days, there have been some things that make me want to dig a spider hole and live there for a little while.

Exhibit A: Lydia freaking the eff out at Target.

I went to Target to get some life jackets so I can take the girls to the pool more often and not fear for their lives as much. I was on a mission and I asked Lydia to stay next to me so I could steer the cart. She wouldn't listen and kept walking up by the cart or trying to stop and look at random things, so I made her sit in the back of the cart. She was ticked, but it wasn't too bad. So we went and got the jackets, then a swim diaper and then we were heading toward the front and she started complaining that she wanted out. So I said we were almost done and she could get out after I paid. So she started kicking the sides of the cart. Maya told the cashier, "Yidia's cwabby!" So I ignored Lydia and went to return the cart at the front of the store and got her out and she started SCREAMING! The entire place stopped to watch the little crazy person. She was screaming and trying to walk away from me and I had the bag and Maya in my arms already. So I had to chase her down and I tried talking to her to calm her down. Nope. So I grabbed her up and went out the door. Luckily the security guard had seen her with me pre-meltdown and knew I wasn't kidnapping her. So then when we got outside, she started screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME! I WANT A TOY!" Woah. Reality check. She thinks that she gets something every time we go to the store. What have I done to her? So, luckily Exhibit B is happenning.....

Exhibit B: We are going to live as if we are poor for 2 years.

Slightly personal, but what's a blog if it's not personal? So, in the past couple years, Scott and I have been living as if we are rich. We are not. Therefore, we got into debt. Our plan for getting out of debt will take us 2 years of living on much less money per month. It embarrasses me, but can I borrow your shovel for my spider hole? I cannot afford one. ;)

Exhibit C: Maya's turn to freak the eff out.

Kelly and I took a walk yesterday. The girls got bored and started arguing, which turned into Maya kicking the crap out of Lydia's legs. So I let Lydia out to walk and Maya started screaming, crying and arching her back. She arched her back so much and so hard, that she busted the buckle off the side of the wagon! I could not believe it! So Kelly suggested Lydia pull the wagon so I could walk faster and get The Hulk back home. As soon as I got her home, I put her on the couch to cool down, she wimpered for a little bit and then after a few minutes, she smiled at me and said, "I all better!" (P.S. I had Maya reenact being grumpy for the picture.)


Exhibit D: Potty training.

It's going ok. Of course there are accidents here and there. The pee accidents don't bother me too much, I can understand pee can kindof sneak up on you at times, but squatting down to crap in your underwear? You had to know that was coming. But the funny part about it is that today when it happened, I was taking the nasty undies to the trash (these were not to be saved), Lydia was trying to tell me something and she stopped dead in her tracks, looked at the underwear and ran away, covering her mouth and gagging.

Exhibit E: Fun with laundry.

Last night, I sent the girls upstairs to get ready for their bath, then I remembered I had clothes in the washer. So I thought I'd hurry up and put them in the dryer and then go upstairs. It didn't go as planned. When I took out a towel, I decided to shake it so it wouldn't be in a ball to dry and when I did that, I felt a bunch of stuff come flying out. I looked down expecting to see crumbs or something...but I saw nothing at all. So I shook again and it happened again. So I bent over to the floor and saw that it was little tiny clear gel pieces. Ummm...what he heck could that be?! I looked in the washer and I had washed a disposable diaper. Sick. I think it was just one that was sitting on the dryer that was worn as a precaution and had not been peed in. So I had to shake every piece of laundry out, so I just did it onto the floor since it was already covered from the towel. Then I wiped the floor...I had been meaning to clean the laundry room floor, so at least that got done? It always seems anything I do with good intentions turns into a fiasco.

So, this is pretty much the craziness that my life has been lately. So, seriously, anyone have a shovel I can borrow?

M&M's are the shiz.

Yesterday, I decided to try giving Maya M&M's when she peed (or pooped) on the potty. And after a few times of her starting to pee on the floor, me rushing her onto the potty, making a big deal over the few drops that made it in and giving her (and Lydia) one M&M, she was hooked. She started saying, "I need to go pee!" Then she'd run over and sit on the potty and I'd say if she really peed she'd get another one, so she kept trying and when she finally really did have to pee, she was so thrilled to get to pick which color she wanted and Lydia was giddy that she got one, too. So then Lydia kept encouraging her to pee or poop. It was pretty funny, actually. And so our big news is that today, she had ZERO accidents!! ZERO. Unbelievable! I'm so proud of my little lady. Lydia took a little longer to get the concept of it, so I never thought Maya would get it in a day and a half. So yay! I know it's not like the end of potty training, but I'm happy that the hardest part is over!
Ok, bed time for me. Hopefully Maya will sleep most of the night. That stinker kept me up from about 230am until 5am this morning. I was so exhausted, I felt like I was being tortured in a foreign prison.

P.S. I had written the word "Buh-Log" on a piece of paper at my desk and Lydia copied it, so I scanned it for my header. Isn't little kid handwriting so cute?

Potty Training is Crappy.

Ha, pun intended.

I decided to try to start potty training Maya today. I forgot how annoying it is. She peed on the floor so many times today, but she did go in the potty a couple times, so hooray. I have a feeling it's gonna take a while, but I want to have her potty trained before Scott gets back, so I figure this will give me plenty of time (it better not take 5 more months, though!).

Ok, so my girls are so strange. They don't really enjoy drinking water during the day, they'd much rather drink milk. "That's not strange," you say? Well, how about the fact that as soon as they get in the bathtub, they start chugging their nasty bath water? VOMIT. I try to tell them in the grossest way that the water is dirty (Like saying, "That water is filled with germs from your butt! It's butt water! EW, butt water!") and they smile at me and say, "Mmmm!" and giggle. I thought boys were supposed to be the icky ones. I thought girls were supposed to be prissy, not tormenting me with butt germs.

While I'm talking about the bath...tonight, the girls were having fun dumping water over each other's heads, then when I leaned over the side of the tub to wash Maya, Lydia dumped a full glass of water over my head! She got sent to the corner while I hid my face trying not to laugh.

I have to share these pictures of their mini photo shoot. They were cracking me up with their poses.

Well, time for me to hit the sack so Maya can wake me up in an hour.

We. Are. Awake.

I want to kick and scream and throw a fit, but I am too frickin' tired.

I got the girls in bed last night at 730pm and I was having a great night, I did my workout, had some ice cream (yes, I know, counterproductive, but whatever..), watched Farmer Wants A Wife (I thought the idea of the show was so dumb and I was resistant to watch, but Kelly roped me in and now I'm hooked.) and then I wanted to take a shower and watch a couple more shows and go to bed before say, midnight. But while showering, BOTH girls came stumbling into the bathroom shielding their eyes and crying their brains out. I am quite certain that Lydia woke Maya up by crying because she had to pee. Why oh why can't the girl just get out of bed and go pee without screaming about it?
So I had to hurry and finish, hop out of the shower and put the girls back in their beds and try not to drip on them. Luckily, they didn't put up too much of a fight and I got dressed and watched about 45 mins of the Real World an then Maya was up again. Defeated, I turned everything off downstairs and came up to put her back in bed and go to sleep. It was only 11pm, but I figured at least I did a few things and I'd get a good night's sleep.

WRONG. Maya was up like 5 times between then and 3am and then when she was asleep for a little bit, here comes Lydia crying that she wants in my bed. I refused and told her to sleep on the floor if she wouldn't stop crying and go to bed. So she went in her room, got her pillow and camped out for a short time. (That might sound mean, but they've been sleeping in my bed for a long time and this week I've been trying desperately to get them out of my bed, SuperNanny style.) Then at about 530am at the latest, I hear her waking Maya up! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I was irate.

Then came the incessant talking. "Mom-can-we-eat-I'm-hungry-can-we-have-cereal-or-a-snack-or-ice-cream-or-how-about-Lucky-Charms-let's-go-downstairs-Maya-come-on-let's-go-mom-I'm-hungry-do-we-have-cheese-sticks-I'll-get-us-some-food-Maya-you-want-some-milk-in-a-sippy-let's-go-eat-are-you-hungry-sister-mom-let's-go......." AHHH! HUSH-A YO FACE, KID! I swear, if I had a penny for every time a cashier or random stranger said, "Wow, if I could only have an ounce of her energy!", I would have enough money to buy an island far far away and hide there. So, yes, please stranger, have some energy, take a few ounces, take it by the ton.

"It's like the short bus in reverse!"

Last night, we went to Kelly's for a BBQ. It was really fun. (Except for the part when someone made a silly comment and I pretended to be upset, so someone pretended to console me and I kindof snapped at someone who did nothing wrong and then burst into tears...um...wtf? I guess pms and deployment do not mix well....moving on...) After dinner, we got the kids ready for bed and I put the girls to bed in Kelly's room (which has been working better than I had imagined and will make our sleepovers much easier while our husbands are on deployment!).

Then we got down to the business of POKER. It was a little weird playing without Scott there, but it was a good time. He e-mailed me while we were playing, so I felt a little happier about it. Halfway through, I was lacking chips big time, so I wasn't playing in many hands, so I stayed in while Kelly, her Scott and Jewell got out. Which left Ruth, Sheldon and I....the unlikely bunch. Jewell said the three of us playing was "like the short bus in reverse," which sadly, I admit was true. Sheldon and I had never won and I think it's been a little while since Ruth had won. So we played and played and Ruth took all Sheldon's chips and I thought my chances were in the crapper and a twist of fate, I called "all in" and somehow I won that hand, which left Ruth with not very many chips, so when she called her "all in" I called it and I WON MY FIRST EVER POKER GAME!!!!!!! I am sad that Scott was not there to see it, but he was very excited when I e-mailed him about it. But it was nice to get out of the house, have a couple drinks with friends and have some fun. So- Thanks guys! (And sorry about the snapping and crying bit...but not sorry about taking your money....bwahahahahaha!)

Thanks, Chuck.

I fell asleep twice while typing this...Try not to do the same while reading!

Ok here I go...(I'll admit I stole a few from another website I posted facts on...hush...100 is a lot!)

1. My dad was a Yeoman in the Navy when my sister was a baby and that's also Scott's job in the Navy.

2. Since about high school and especially since having kids, my sister and I are absolutely best friends.

3. I always thought I'd have a girl and name her Samantha and call her Sam, but then my sister named her son Sam, plus Scott said he didn't like that name when we were talking about names for Lydia. (A year ago, he tried telling me that he thought he was the one who suggested the name Sam... I think he has an altered sense of reality at times, but he says the same about me.)

4. Orange has always been one of my favorite colors.

5. Every time I go shopping, I always try to buy a blue shirt, but then I pick another color because I have too many blue shirts already.

6. I recently graduated from having toilet paper next to my bed to blow my nose to having Kleenex. I feel all grown up and not trashy anymore.

7. I am lazy about taking any kind of medication..I usually have to be told "Why don't you take some Tylenol if you have a headache?" Oh yeah, duh...

8. I love pizza and I love making it. I pretend that if I make it, it is totally healthy and I can eat as much as I want.

9. I love movie quotes and probably use them way too much. (I always get excited when I bust one out at the right time and get a good laugh.)

10. My mom says that usually when I sneeze, it sounds like "butt cheek".

11. I love smilies and fonts. One time I printed like 5 pages of the alphabet in different fonts that I liked. It took me years to throw it away.

12. On that note, I'll admit that I am a pack rat.

13. I am an absolutely completely wide open book.

14. I usually have a really hard time hearing people, but I've had my hearing checked and they said I was fine. It's very frustrating. (Sometimes I have a hard time having a conversation if there are any other noises. I should wear a sign so people will talk louder or something. I want to invent glasses that put subtitles below the person. I really only just thought of that.)

15. I like details...many, many details.(Is that obvious?)

16. I would love to know what people really truly think of me, even if some of it is hurtful, I really do want to know. I don't think it's possible for anyone to say exactly what they think. Even if it's like, "You use parentheses too much." I just wonder, cuz if it's something I can change or if it was a misunderstanding or something, I'd want to change it or make it right.

17. My biggest pet peeve is grammatical errors. But I won't hold it against you if you do it. Ok, maybe I will. (Maybe I could be an editor or something. I wonder what kind of schooling that requires...probably more than I'm willing to do.)

18. My dream "car" used to be an orange VW bus with big white daisies painted on it. Now I want an orange Edge....

19. I love flannel sheets, I use them year round.

20. My eyes used to be dark brown, then some time in high school they turned hazelish.

21. I used to be in love with Adam Duritz from Counting Crows. I even made a little figurine out of Sculpey clay of him. (Wow, that sounds totally creepy.)

22. I also made a clay guy of Ringo Starr (that one was for a class in HS). My dad still has it.

23. My mom, my sister and I talk on the phone every day. If we miss a day, we're usually on the phone the next day, "Did you talk to mom?" "Did you talk to Sharon?"

24. I have a really hard time waiting to give people presents. Scott and I always end up getting each other a bunch of Christmas presents because we keep giving them to each other as soon as we buy them.

25. I have crazy vivid dreams. When I was a cashier at a grocery store, I would always dream that I was ringing up items. I even got mad at Scott for "being on my register" and I tried pushing him out of bed. Then I woke up and realized I was at home. Oh I also remember dreaming and trying to seat people in my living room when I was a hostess at Red Robin. I was very stressed out because all the people wouldn't fit on our couches.

26. I remember dreams from when I was in elementary school.

27. I love bags. My sister and I have joked that our kind of porn online is looking at all the bags that people have sewn. "Oh..look at the pockets on that one!" "That one has huge buttons!" "That one has a zipper...and it's open! oooOoOooohhh!" (We're kindof dumb. )

28. I think my daughters are hilarious.

29. I once bought a pair of kids shoes for myself without trying them on...and they were too big.

30. My sister's birthday is 10 years and 2 days before mine.

31. I called my mom's mom "Grandma Hot Dog". (She died a few years ago, but that's how I still refer to her.)

32. I looooove reality shows.

33. I think I have cleaner's ADD. I forget what I was doing if I walk out of the room to put something away.

34. Scott is a foot taller than me.

35. I have 4 tattoos, I only really like the last one I got on my neck.

36. I've pooed with a person sitting on my lap...many times. Today, actually.

37. I use sunless tanner and sunscreen.

38. I eat ice cream pretty much every day.

39. But I love vegetables. (I feel like they even each other out.)

40. I don't like popcorn.

41. I still *have* to try a piece of popcorn if someone else has some.

42. I have been buying the girls Barbie dolls and clothes because I want to play with them.

43. I giggle every time I bake spaghetti squash because the halves sitting next to each other on the cookie sheet look like boobs.

44. I have died my hair black, red, brown, blond, maroon, and blue (the blue was only a small strip).

45. The first thing I ever said I wanted to be when I grew up was a rollerskating clown.

46. My brother, Joel and I conspired together to cry to our parents so we could get a dog. It worked like a charm.

47. One day, Joel forgot his glasses at home when he went to school, so I took them and wore them to school and said I got glasses. I wonder what the teachers thought when I never wore them again.

48. If I had the money, I would get a) a nose job, b) a tummy tuck, c) a breast reduction and d) lasik.

49. I have considered being a surrogate mother. (For the selfless reason of giving a wonderful gift and for the selfish reason so I can do b, c and d on my list.) But Scott is NOT keen on the idea.

50. I cried to a teacher in H.S. so he would give me a passing grade.

51. I hate stopping what I'm doing to pee, then I waddle to the bathroom and almost pee my pants on a daily basis.

52. I yell at Lydia for doing the same thing as above. (Because she actually does pee her pants.)

53. I'm afraid that the microwave zaps the nutrients out of the food I heat in it, but I use it daily.

54. I'm obsessed with wondering what the people look like who do the voices for cartoons. I want to see a constant side-by-side of them talking to see the words and voices coming out of their mouths.

55. I *love* watching extras in movies. I always picture them in the theater watching it for the first time with their friends and family....just waiting for their part...."THERE I AM! ....Did you see me?!...When it comes out on video, we'll have to pause it!"

56. The veins in my left hand look like they spell "HI".

57. I believe pretty much everything my sister tells me.

58. I love parmesan cheese. I put piles of it on my spaghetti and love to dip my pizza in it. I always stop the Olive Garden waitress before she gets tired, but I really wanted more.

59. Coldplay reminds me of Scott and sometimes makes me cry.

60. I should be cleaning for the at&t guy to come in the morning.

61. I played hard to get with at&t and they gave me more free stuff. (First time I ever tried that and it worked. It felt great!)

62. Maya woke up at 4:45am this morning and stayed up until she crashed on the couch at 11:30am.

63. My kids don't seem to require as much sleep as human children.

64. Deployment sucks.

65. Homecoming day is the best day EVER.

66. I'm getting slower and slower at coming up with stuff cuz I'm tired (see #62).

67. Allison and I decided we'd wear swimming caps in gym class in HS and pretty much all the other girls thought we were idiots. But we didn't have to take as long after to get ready, so haha.

68. In like 1st grade, I peed my pants at school and sat in my locker trying to hide my wet pants. Reeeeal slick, huh? I'm sure no one suspected a thing.

69. Someone once wrote "69 parking only" in the parking spot in front of my house. I didn't find out until quite a few years later what it meant.

70. I am a fast eater.

71. I cannot bite ice cream with my front teeth...it gives me chills just thinking about it.

72. My sister once signed me out of school to take me to the zoo. It was awesome.

73. She also took my friend, Melissa, and I to Chuck E. Cheese when we were in 7th or 8th grade.

74. I'm newly addicted to Diet 7up.

75. All of my glasses are broken and I'm too lazy to even try to tape them for home use only.

76. I'm gonna be shoving all the clutter in closets before the cable guy gets here.

77. I want Nick Arrojo to cut my hair.

78. I honestly just fell asleep for a second.

79. I was a teenage bride.

80. I threw the disc and shotput in my senior year of High School.

81. I threw up at a party once when no one was looking and blamed it on the guy who was passed out a few feet away from me. I didn't know whose house it was, so I didn't care if they believed me.

82. I was an exchange student in Germany (with Allison).

83. I have known Anna since we started school.

84. I want to be done!

85. Lydia was born 9 days after her due date.

86. Maya was born 2 weeks before her due date. (both c-sections, btw.)

87. I always won burping contest with Joel.

88. Joel always won the farting contests.

89. I love to dance, but I am awful at it.

90. Sometimes I run around the house at top speed going "AHHHH!" just to make the girls laugh.

91. Before I had Lydia, I always had my fingernails really long and always painted, then when I had her, I felt the need to chop them off completely and now I can't stand it when they grow even a little.

92. I haven't had my daily ice cream, but I wanna finish this thing and get some stuff picked up, so I'm afraid that I might not get some!

93. I am almost always late to everything. I make sure everyone knows it when I'm on time or...gasp...early?!

94. I always relate things that happen with movies or tv shows. (I often refer to Seinfeld, Friends and Wizard of Oz for some reason.)

95. Woo, ok, I'm getting my second wind after reading perezhilton.com. I look at it multiple times a day and always wonder why I care what celebrities are doing..why does anyone care?

96. Since having kids, I find myself talking to random strangers more.

97. This year, Scott and I will have been married for 8 years. I think this is our 4th anniversary that we have not been together for, maybe 5th.

98. I don't like the transitions that are involved in showering. First, I don't like going from being fully clothed and warm to totally naked and cold, then dry to wet, the showering part I enjoy, but then, you go from wet and warm to wet and freezing, then getting yourself dry again and putting clothes back on. It's a hassle. Man, I'm lazy.

99. I got a new cell phone just so I can e-mail Scott and not be at the computer all day.

100. I am a procrastinator. I literally have my entire house to clean tonight. The cable guy comes between 8 and 10am. I've known about this for about a week and a half.

OK, so who to tag? No one else really blogs...I need more blogger friends. I'll attempt to tag Kelly. Anyone else wanna participate? (Come on, my millions of readers, step forward!)

About that rash....

I'm a total idiot. I was talking to my sister today and I told her about Lydia's rash and she asked if maybe she had sucked on her bottom lip and gave herself a hickey. At first, I was like, "No..it couldn't have been that..." But then after thinking about it and her telling me that my nephew had done that a couple times (once he suctioned a bottle to himself, I forget if it was his arm or his face) and she said what it looked like at all the stages, first a little red, then it got a little purple and then yellow and then was gone and after thinking about it, I am pretty sure that's what happened to Lydia. How dumb!!!

And I think the reason Maya barfed was because I gave her Tylenol and she hadn't eaten in a little bit, so I think that's why. I feel bad about that! She did have a fever still at night and I made sure to have her drink milk with her Tylenol that time and all is well today.

BUT at least I'm not as dumb as this guy: